Oghren Goes To Kirkwall
by Nukid
Summary: When Varric, Isabela and Merrill go to The Hanged Man, the find a drunken Oghren sleeping on the doorstep. Has Oghren come to bring Anders back to the Grey Warden, or does he have an ulterior motive...


Hey everyone! This is a short fic that came to mind that I had to do, mostly just so everyone's favourite dwarves could meet each other XD.

If people wonder when in DA2 this would take place, I would say around Act 2. Enjoy!

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><p>The day started out like any other in Kirkwall. The tradesman in Hightown were already attending to their various businesses, the Qunari were standing around stoically like they did every day, and already their had been three fights in Darktown where blades were drawn.<p>

On the street leading to everyone's favourite pub, The Hanged Man, a Human, an Elf and a Dwarf walked side by side. Varric chattered to Isabella, both them smiling and laugh whilst they talked, whilst Merrill meekly walked beside them, pretending like she was following their conversation.

"I shit you not Rivani, I stuck it right through her" Varric proclaimed, laughing.

"Oh my!" Isabela giggled "wasn't Bianca jealous?"

"A little, but Bianca knows that it was only a one time deal." Varric replied. He grabbed his famous crossbow Bianca and lightly stroked it.

"I should hope so. If you're thinking of abandoning Bianca, she's always welcome in my warm hands." Isabela cooed. Varric frowned and defensively hugged Bianca.

"Err don't start confusing her again Isabela…or me either." Varric warned. Merrill's ears suddenly fluttered with recognition.

"Oh! You're talking about something dirty! Oh, tell me more!" Merrill begged, jumping up and down excitedly.

"What are you talking about Daisy? I'm talking about last night when I was tackled by that female Blood Mage and I had to use my pocket knife to take her down" Varric explained.

"Oh…" Merrill said, with obvious disappointment "…I was hoping it was something dirty."

"Don't you worry Kitten, I've got some stories that'll make you blush like a tomato" Isabela assured. She stretched her arms upward, groaning pleasurably "I swear the thing Hawke makes us do. I just wanna get to the Hanged Man and res…why's there a Dwarf lying on the Hanged Man doorstep?"

In unison, Varric and Merrill turned to where Isabela was looking, and both were surprised to see what she saw, Merrill much more blatant about it. Snoring so loudly he could be heard over the rustling of Kirkwall, a Dwarf garbed in an old, but still very sturdy, armour lied fast asleep on the doorstep of The Hanged Man.

Merrill took a step forward to get a closer look, but like an overly protective brother, Varric held out a hand in front of her "I'll go first Daisy. You don't know where it's been."

Varric carefully stepped up to the snoring Dwarf, though he found as soon as he got close, he was hit by a horribly strong odour that seemed to smell of both vomit, liquor and, weirdly enough, smoke. Holding his nose, Varric got a close look at the Dwarf.

The said Dwarf was fairly old, but did not quite look out of his prime yet. He had short red hair on his head, whilst he had four long ponytails for a beard, one of which seemed to have a stick forcibly lodged into it. He held in his right hand a large grey bag, packed with something in it, which Varric thought for a second moved…

Beside him was a huge battleaxe of great quality, and judging by its numerous scratches, had seen many battles in its time. It was a wonder no one had tried to steal it from him yet.

"Hmm, he ain't a Dwarf I've met before. Guess he's new to Kirkwall…" Varric mumbled. He carefully grabbed the Dwarf by the arm and shook it "…excuse me? Sir?"

The sleeping Dwarf suddenly began to stir…which consisted of several grunts, coughs and choking noises, and what sounded like a fart or two. The Dwarf suddenly opened its eyes with sudden alertness and shook violently.

"N-No! Not there Branka! Don't bite there!" the Dwarf begged to no one. A second later, and he realised this too. He slowly looked up to Varric and squinted his eyes "h-huh? Who the sodding hell are you?"

"Right now, I'm thankfully not this Branka girl." Varric said. He carefully grabbed the Dwarf by the arm and began to pull him up "you do know you fell asleep on the door to the Hanged Man, right?"

"Hmm?" the Dwarf grumbled. He turned his head to the entrance, and laughed in surprise "well bless my soul! The last thing I remember was punching this arrogant old ass that called himself Gamlen straight in his sodding face."

Despite the Dwarves being pretty repulsive, Varric found himself liking him instantly.

"Guess you had too many to drink this one night" Varric shrugged. He continued pulling the Dwarf up onto his feet "there. Think you can stand."

"Heh. Don't you worry about little old Oghren. I'll be just fi-"

The Dwarf called Oghren proceeded to be sick on Varric's shoes.

Varric's left eye twitched.

"Oh god my insides are burning up!" Oghren growled, clutching his chest in agony as he dropped to his knees, grunting and growling in agony. Varric looked down at Oghren and eased his sudden urge to kick the Dwarf in the head, and threw Oghrens right arm over his neck, helping him get up.

"All right, let's get you into the Hanged Man where you can lie down. Daisy, go get Blondie and ask him to come to the Hanged Man." Varric asked Merrill politely. It was technically an order, but Varric said it more like a reassuring father than a captain barking orders.

"Anders won't like having to come all the way up here to heal just one person. He'll get angry and start ranting by Mages and Templars" Merrill said innocently.

"Tell him if he does this he can forget the 50 silver he owes me for last weeks card game" Varric replied. With a smile, Merrill walked off towards Darktown.

"Isabela, help me carry this guy inside."

"Ooh, but he smells of vomit…" Isabela whined "…and booze…and corpses."

"You don't see me complaining" Varric replied. With a sniff, Varric frowned "though he does smell like he's had way too much to drink. Maybe it's alcohol poisoning."

As Isabela grabbed his free arm, she looked at the Dwarves face, and her eyes narrowed in wonder.

"Hmm…I've met this Dwarf before" Isabela commented. Varric looked at her and groaned.

"Oh Rivani. I thought even you had standards."

"Not like that!" Isabela snapped back. She took a closer look at Oghren's face and nodded "yep! I've definitely seen him before. This dwarf was with the Grey Wardens in Fereldon."

"Wait…you mean the Hero of Fereldon?"

"Tehehehe…" Oghren giggled, despite being in agony "…that's right! You're talking to Oghren! Legendary Dwarf of Orzammar! Bane of every Darkspawn! And the most handsome Dwarf to ever-"

Oghren puked on Varric's shoes again.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Sorry if it was a little too short for some people, but the chapters will be longer! This was just a prologue. R&amp;R!<strong>


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